In Plymouth Michigan this week a gentleman who might seem to be afflicted with Catholic-brand religious delusions has convinced himself that he can see a 2,000 year old Virgin Mother with Perfectly Intact Hymen in a column of ice outside his mobile home. And of course if he imagines that he is recognizing a woman that he has never met and who quite likely never existed, then only his belief is required to convince a person who has already chosen to accept as true absolutely ridiculous ancient fairy tales of virgin births and infants with super powers inherited from their invisible Sky Daddy.
Lionel Gonzalez says “This is unbelievable” and on that one point we certainly do agree. We do not believe that frozen water in a Michigan mobile home park is a sign of divine intervention at the home of a highly suggestible fellow who is known to already believe completely fact-free fairy tales.
On our rating scale of Marian Apparitions, which starts at utterly preposterous and goes all the way up to laughably ridiculous, this very silly incident gets only utterly preposterous for a 1 on a scale of 1 to 5.
Looking at this columnar shaped piece of ice it only vaguely resembles the shape of a human vagina that has never once been penetrated by a stiff, manly, rock hard penis. You can’t even see her completely virginal and absolutely intact hymen. If this formation ever spawned we think it would just be ice cubes, and not divine sons of a super duper sky faerie sent here to be murdered by humans so that the angry, confrontational, temper-prone Sky Faerie Daddy can forgive us humans because at least we killed his Son.
Religious delusions aside, it’s just frozen water and nothing more. If Mister Gonzalez intends to sell this Holy Mary Mother of God Icicle on eBay he better get with it quickly before the weather warms up and she melts like the witch in The Wizard of Oz.
[tags]Marian Apparition, Ice, hymen, vagina, virgin, penis, Sky Faerie, Son of God, pareidolia, virgin mother, eBay, Virgin Mary, Mother of God, Michigan, Plymouth, Lionel Gonzalez, penis, fairy tales, unbelievable[/tags]