Our Lady of Yet Another Boring Tree Trunk

Our Lady of Another Boring Tree Trunk, now appearing in Scarborough, Ontario, CanadaIf you gave up on imaginary virgin mothers of imaginary deity babies with imaginary super powers for your New Years resolution, then read no further. In yet another highly boring imaginary tree trunk appearance, the Holy Virgin Mary Mother of God who never once took the whole thing into her perfectly pure and un-penetrated vagina with sacred intact hymen is now appearing on a tree in Scarborough, ON in Canada. We get a lot of these tree trunk apparitions because of the way that sap often oozes out of a wound on a tree, then disperses into a gradually widening pattern as gravity and rain wash it down the outside of the tree. With a wound on a tree, often from pruning, we get the nice round shape of a virgin head, or a clitoris, then as the sap from the tree wound spreads into a gradually widening pattern as it inches down the tree we get a shape that resembles a cape held open by a woman with a perfectly intact hymen, or the labia around a vagina.
Virginal vagina with perfectly intact hymen same shape as Marian Apparitions It is perfectly obvious that this latest and unusually lame sighting is just a tree trunk, but for those desperate to find a sign of something they imagine is true it seems so tempting and inviting.

We do not know exactly why Catholics tend to obsesess so much on the status of God’s mommy’s honey pot, but they sure do love to brag about how she never once took the whole thing. Do you suppose that after the imaginary deity was allegedly born poor old Joseph got to play hide the sausage at all? Or did she get assumed directly up into heaven, as the frequently told tall tale goes, because her hymen was still intact and she never, ever, once got laid?

It sure does seem as though Catholics are inclined to recognize any natural shape that resembles a vagina as another Marian Apparition, very strange, it might mean something I suppose. Could it be Oedipal?

[tags]Marian Apparition, Virgin Mary, Mother of God, Virgin Birth, pareidolia, Intact Hymen, unpenetrated vagina, virginity, vulva, labia sexual purity, Scarborough, Ontario, Canada, Holy Maruy, woddy, virginity, sex, Jeebus, Baby Jesus, St Joseph [/tags]

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3 Responses to “Our Lady of Yet Another Boring Tree Trunk”

  1. Sally Says:

    Your furious snark is telling and actually makes you look just as silly as those who worship Mary images. For the record, Jesus had brothers and sisters, so rest assured, Joseph got to ‘hide the sausage’. Sorry to disrupt your entire reason for having this blog.

  2. Mike Says:

    Sally. How do you know that he had brothers and sisters? Were you there or are you simply repeating what somebody, who wasn’t there, told you?

  3. jesus is my saviour Says:

    HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!! HOW DARE YOU SPEAK SUCH FILTH!!!! I have never felt so sick!!! May God forgive you for speaking such filth about His Holy Mother. Just to show how the innocent are always being crucified! If you commented like this about Mohummad, the Islamic prophet, then they would blow you up into shreds!!! True Christians are forgiving but i find it so hard to forgive you!!! I can never understand why Our Lord doesnt strike the world!! He is so patient and forgiving!! You however make me sick!!!! Be gone satan!!!

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