Our Lady Of The Completely Unconvincing Oyster Shell

Our Lady of the Completely Unconvincing Oyster Shell A North Carolina man has found a fragment of an oyster shell on Wrightsville Beach which he is willing to suggest, to the suggestible, might possibly maybe look like a 2,000 year old virgin with a Perfectly Intact Holy Hymen that was never once penetrated by one of those naughty boy bits that stick out in front.

As the legend goes, God, who already existed, had sex with his own mother before he was born so she would get pregnant, but she did not have sex, but God knocked her up, then God had a son who was God. We are not sure if carpenters were rich enough in ancient Israel to own a mirror, but if Jesus’ faux dad Joseph had a mirror, just imagine Jesus standing in front of that mirror and saying Hello Dad, and then Hello Son. Now you are starting to get the picture.

It seems as though only sinful women get pregnant by having intercourse with their own husband, while really holy women get pregnant only by being raped by an invisible sky fairie. Please note we are talking about an invisible sky fairie here, not a garden variety homosexual fairy. As you can see the words are spelled differently.

How about that oyster shell? Did you bid yet? We sure didn’t.

Appearing on eBay as seller skatingtom7, the finder of this miraculous ex-crustacean holy relic is apparently willing to accept money for his lucky Virgin Mother Marian Apparition Miraculous Treasure Discovery.

If you have not even a trace of skeptical inclination and your critical thinking skills do not even exist, bid now!

[tags]skatingtom7, eBay, Hymen, vagina, Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina, Marian Apparition, Miraculous Sea Shell, Virgin Mary, Sea Shell, oyster Shell, miracle, pareidolia, one born every minute[/tags]

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One Response to “Our Lady Of The Completely Unconvincing Oyster Shell”

  1. K.M Says:

    Maybe some people believe in God because they can’t bear the thought that the highest power known to man is America?

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