Our Lady of the Tree That Looks Just Like a Tree

Posted on July 11th, 2008 by Ungodly.
Categories: Amazingly Dumb Sightings, New Sightings, Really Lame Sightings, Woody Virgins.

An ordinary tree made out of wood in which deeply delusional people see an unpenetrated hymen belonging to a 2,000 year old Jewish ladyPeople in Midland Texas who are afflicted with Catholicism and no common sense at all are claiming that a 2,000 year old Jewish virgin, with perfectly intact hymen, who has never once taken the whole thing, is now appearing in a local tree.

Now when I were a wee lad in a country village, I was very fond of climbing trees. But very few people ever saw me in a tree and said, look, a 2,000 year old virgin. And of course as an actual human child it was fairly easy to tell what was me and what was a tree.

If only the people afflicted with religious delusions could tell the difference between a human being and a deciduous tree! Wouldn't it be nice if a Catholic could look at a tree and recognize it for what it was, a fucking tree?

I mean really, any slightly ovoid shape that resembles a vagina and boom, idiots are lining up around the block to drool on their T-shirts and say "Wow, she really was a virgin". Give me a break.

Tree wounds where branches have been cut off are a leading provider of fact-free delusions. And it always seems that the imaginary psuedo-deities seen in these trees just happens to be from the brand of religious delusion from which the discovering fool already suffers.

The human mind is a very powerful pattern recognition device. It is so good at recognizing patterns that it sees things that are not there. This may have served a survival purpose for people catching a glimpse of something moving in the bushes a hundred thousand years ago, but it is not always a bonus. The psychological phenomenon that allows people to see familiar objects that are not really there is called pareidolia. And speaking of seeing familiar things, how do these people know what this fictitious virgin looks like in the first place? Did the apostles have a Canon camera?

It is important to learn how to tell the difference between make believe and reality. It can be very helpful in curing a religious delusion. And really, 2,000 years ago there were very few mothers with perfectly intact hymens. For example none. Still, hymen stories do sell.

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Other Marian Hallucinations:

  1. Our Lady of the Gnarly Tree Trunk
  2. Our Lady of Yet Another Boring Tree Trunk
  3. Our Lady of the Completely Unconvincing Tree Stump
  4. Our Lady of the Well Charred Sycamore Tree
  5. Our Lady of the Pruned Maple Tree

7 comments.

Lucy

Comment on July 11th, 2008.

It’s sad that God had to go that far back in time to find a virgin. It has been written that a Savior would be born to a virgin, and not just once was it written either. Putting limitations on what you think God might do, scientificly or not, shows where you are spiritually. So you don’t believe….Who cares.

Ungodly

Comment on July 11th, 2008.

> So you don’t believe….Who cares.

Apparently you do.

dalia

Comment on July 22nd, 2008.

shut up.you are annoying.
come to midland to see it.see if its not real
and if its so fake stop writting about it.
ignorance…your funny
i hope god blesses you

A Z Y

Comment on August 8th, 2008.

I witnessed this amazing sighting for myself. At first I couldn’t believe it, but honestly….the image or our lady of Guadalupe is there.

honestcatholicNONvirgin

Comment on October 22nd, 2008.

this was pretty funny. the virgin is very lucky that she wore a blanket over her head- it makes her a lot easier to spot in vague shadows, burned bark, and rotting grapes.

yvette

Comment on December 22nd, 2008.

i went to midland to see it for myself and yes i do believe…. its sad tht people like u are so broken tht get a kick out of beliefs and religions, but am pretty sure when hard times hit ur dwn on ur knees praying to all those images u consider being funny… may god bless you… i ke nuestra madre santisima de guadalupe te conceda su proteccion en la vivencia de la fe i te guie hacia el camino de nuestro senor……….

mary is satan

Comment on August 24th, 2009.

the words of the Savior “An Adulteress generation seek after signs”

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