Virgin Mary (again)

Our Lady of the Obviously Stained Cloth

Posted on September 24th, 2007 by Ungodly.
Categories: Amazingly Dumb Sightings, Bonus Extra Sightings, New Sightings, Really Lame Sightings.

In Miami Florida, in a church of all places, people with a stunning lack of critical thinking skills are lining up to prove P. T. Barnum’s point, eagerly waiting to see a piece of cloth draped over an altar which allegedly shows an image of a Virginal Intact-Hymen Sex-Free Mother who never took a penis in her private parts even once and her son who created the entire Universe and his mother before he was born.

So, this one is in a church, OK. It’s not like the people in a church are already preselected for gullibility and the fervent desire to form ardent beliefs without a single shred of evidence. Or is it? I want to know why we never hear about Virgin Mary sightings in the gay section located in the back room of Adult DVD stores? Or maybe in a gay bar? I can tell you that if a real virgin was to make an apparition in a gay bar they certainly would be warmly welcomed. And why not, after all it is well known that gay men often call each other Mary. It’s true, virginity is a rare quality in mothers and gay men, so it seems there is a natural affinity between this mythical Virgin Mother With Perfectly Intact Hymen who never once took the whole thing and gay men who are always talking about taking the whole thing.

We know that there are self-loathing gay men that participate in the Party of Jesus through the Log Cabin Republicans. Maybe there could be a self-loathing Catholic gay group of men with no critical thinking skills that imagines they have a Virgin Mother Fag Hag friend up in the sky. We could call the group Virgin Gay Girlfriends for Mary, or something like that. Should priests be allowed to join Virgin Gay Girlfriends for Mary? Oh wait, it’s for virgins.

This extremely lame dumbass sighting of the imaginary Virgin Mother of the imaginary deity son of an Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy is a bonus round too, because you get a free Jeebus with it if you are extra, piously gullible. Not to mention the perfectly intact hymen.

Technorati Tags: Marian Apparition, Hymen, Virgin Mary, Vagina, Gay Bar, Gay DVDs, Log Cabin Republicans, Virgin Mother Fag Hag, Gay Girlfriends for Mary, Priests, Catholic Church, Miami, Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy, Bonus Jeebus

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