Our Lady of the Hawaiian Necklace

Posted on August 9th, 2007 by Ungodly.
Categories: Amazingly Dumb Sightings, Intact Hymen Jewelry, New Sightings, Really Lame Sightings.

In July 2007 a lady who owns a Hawaiian clothing store in the San Diego area, and admittedly suffers from a really bad case of Catholicism, realized that some good publicity might help the bottom line in her ailing retail shop.

Our Lady of the Hawaiian Necklace

So it was that circumstances led this not even slightly skeptical person to perceive the image of an Imaginary Virginal Intact-Hymen Mommy of the Creator of the entire Universe in an ordinary seashell necklace. We bring you Our Lady of the Hawaiian Necklace.

If you look closely enough, and you impair your faculties with alcohol, drugs, or ancient bullshit superstitions, you too might be able to see the image of a perfectly intact hymen. LSD might help, or a few years of Catechism lessons.

How is it that the perfectly intact hymen of the Mother of God could exist before she gave birth to God when she and her perfectly intact hymen were required to give birth to God, who made her pregnant using Super-Sperm before he was even born?

It’s a pretty neat trick making your own Mother pregnant with yourself!

If you believe this stuff, you’ll believe ANYTHING!

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Other Marian Hallucinations:

  1. Our Lady Of The Completely Unconvincing Oyster Shell
  2. Our Lady Of Clearly Just a Pebble for $50,000

4 comments.

Unbeliever

Comment on August 14th, 2007.

I don’t see any virgins, or anything else there. Did her business improve, I wonder?

Ungodly

Comment on August 17th, 2007.

Yes, the article I found said her business had doubled. Is this a miracle?

andrea de jong

Comment on January 4th, 2008.

The error is that she gave birth to a son and not to God. Jesus said : my father is greater than I
Catholics (and others?) believe Jesus is God. Jesus did the will of this father. He died. How can God dy? In the old testament it is said Mary would have a son, not a god

why bother fi you don't like it anyway?

Comment on February 17th, 2008.

i understand that the necklace sounds like a business scheme, but if the person who originally posted, and follows this story is so against christianity, or catholocism, for that matter, why even bother wasting your time on the subject? it sounds to me like there is a bad case of boredom, and further, an uneducated, cynical, and sarcastic opinion, which could contribute nothing to society except attract more miserable and bored people such as yourself. i’m not saying that the necklace isn’t stupid, but there are more serious issues in the world than focusing so much energy on a subject you despise anyway.

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