Two American ladies, locale not specified, have located the Holy Virgin Mother of God posing as a beef pot roast in their local supermarket.
Some commercials ask “Where’s the beef?”, but if those marketing people were really clever they might ask instead “Where’s the Virgin?”, and of course, who doesn’t like eating a virgin?
It has been known for some time that eating God is not only acceptable, but rather a sign of piety of the highest magnitude. So what the heck, if it is OK to eat God, why not eat God’s mother too? After all, she is a Virgin, so no worries about STDs.
I like rare fillet of Virgin hymen, or water chestnuts wrapped in un-penetrated and lightly roasted labia, and of course we always use Extra Virgin Olive Oil to saute our Holy Virgin Mother of God fried beef steaks. You can also make your Virgin Mary Jerk by rubbing her in certain areas with a mixture of salt and spices.
If you consume Jesus’ Blood, a wheat gluten Jesus meat slice (it’s wafer thin!), and a healthy Virgin Mary pot roast all in one day you can be excused from going to Mass for one whole week.
And whenever I’m off for an extended trip to the Holy Land in search of Virgin Mary tampon relics, I always take along some Holy Mary Mother of God Virgin Beef Jerky to help keep up my energy. It’s nutritious and high in piety too.
Where’s the Virgin? She’s what’s for dinner!
[tags] hymen, labia, Virgin, cannibalism, Catholicism, communion, gluten, pot roast, Marian apparition, youtube, Catholic Church, cholesterol, pareidolia [/tags]