Our Lady of the Shrink Wrapped Pot Roast

Posted on May 1st, 2007 by Ungodly.
Categories: Edible Virgins, High Cholesterol Sightings, New Sightings.

Two American ladies, locale not specified, have located the Holy Virgin Mother of God posing as a beef pot roast in their local supermarket.

Some commercials ask "Where's the beef?", but if those marketing people were really clever they might ask instead "Where's the Virgin?", and of course, who doesn't like eating a virgin?

It has been known for some time that eating God is not only acceptable, but rather a sign of piety of the highest magnitude. So what the heck, if it is OK to eat God, why not eat God's mother too? After all, she is a Virgin, so no worries about STDs.

I like rare fillet of Virgin hymen, or water chestnuts wrapped in un-penetrated and lightly roasted labia, and of course we always use Extra Virgin Olive Oil to saute our Holy Virgin Mother of God fried beef steaks. You can also make your Virgin Mary Jerk by rubbing her in certain areas with a mixture of salt and spices.

If you consume Jesus' Blood, a wheat gluten Jesus meat slice (it's wafer thin!), and a healthy Virgin Mary pot roast all in one day you can be excused from going to Mass for one whole week.

And whenever I'm off for an extended trip to the Holy Land in search of Virgin Mary tampon relics, I always take along some Holy Mary Mother of God Virgin Beef Jerky to help keep up my energy. It's nutritious and high in piety too.

Where's the Virgin? She's what's for dinner!

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Other Marian Hallucinations:

  1. Our Lady of Looks Like an Ordinary Potato
  2. Our Lady of Yet Another Boring Tree Trunk
  3. Our Lady of the Chocolate Dildo
  4. Our Lady of the eBay Driftwood, free Bonus Jesus
  5. Our Lady of the Birdshit on a Truck Rear View Mirror

5 comments.

juan

Comment on June 29th, 2007.

Your web site not only shows your lack of respect. but also your ignorance. Beleivers must account for unjust sufferings, people like you must account every thing else. Faith is like love from the heart, but you would not know, you don’t have one.

juan

Comment on June 29th, 2007.

Your web site not only shows your lack of respect. but also your ignorance. Beleivers must account for unjust sufferings, people like you must account for every thing else. Faith is like love from the heart, but you would not know, you don’t have one.

AWSOME

Comment on September 12th, 2007.

A SAW IT ROFLCOPTER

Ernest Becker

Comment on January 3rd, 2009.

It is faith and much more. Those that bully, badger, and remain critical of one’s faith have no faith in GOD — let alone themselves.

The Blessed Virgin has appeared to people World wide. It is Her intrecession that Catholics embrace; furthermore, your ignorance of our Faith compounds your stupidity.

Yours In Christ,

Ernst Becker

Ungodly

Comment on January 3rd, 2009.

Ernest,

After 12 years of Catholic school I believe that I know quite a bit about Catholic-flavored religious delusions, that is precisely why I ridicule them.

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