Virgin Mary (again)

Our Lady of the eBay Auction for Chumps

Posted on March 2nd, 2007 by Ungodly.
Categories: New Sightings.

If you are a dumbass, and you’ve got hundreds of thousands of dollars in spare cash, we know how you can buy your very own Miracle of Mary! Dumbasses only, please. eBay seller jmj73 is offering a used candle which melted unevenly as it was burning, leaving a portion of the candle much taller than the rest. An obvious miracle!

Bidding starts at $333,000, this auction is not for any old chump, you’ll need to be a rather well to do chump for this one. Of course you could take out a third mortgage!

Yes folks, it is really true. Just bring a wild imagination, dogmatic belief in ludicrous ancient fairy tales, and several wheelbarrows full of cash. For the sake of posterity, we have recorded the eBay item page for this auction as a PDF file.

Anybody with at least one good eye can plainly see that this is obviously a 2,000 year old virgin who has previously given birth to an immortal deity in a barn on a cold winter night. And once you buy this miraculous cylinder of paraffin we know your luck is going to improve.

You could take this candle to a casino and win back all of the money you spent for it within 10 or 15 minutes, there is no doubt about that at all. After all, this candle is a virgin that has only been burnt at one end.

Those 2,000 year old virgins sure are good at coming up with novel and inventive ways of proving, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that most pregnant virgins give birth to God.

Technorati Tags: Virgin Mary, apparition, miracle, eBay auctions, chumps, Catholicism, pareidolia

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