Our Lady of the Pruned Maple Tree

Posted on February 28th, 2007 by Ungodly.
Categories: Old Sightings.

In the fall of 2006, a Lockport, NY woman with a really bad case of Catholic heard a voice telling her to go and look at her Maple tree. Antonia “Toni” Filipertis, 84 years old, immediately recognized the voice she had never heard before as coming from an ancient, mythical virgin whom she deeply wanted to believe really did exist.


Personally, when someone speaks to me I’m not likely to recognize their voice or identify them by their speech patterns unless I have previously heard that person speak, but that’s just me. And I do understand there are some excellent medications available for people who hear voices inside their head. But, hey, let’s give Antonia the benefit of the doubt about the voices and examine the Miraculous Maple of Mother Mary.

At a first glance it seems to be a tree that has been previously pruned. Judging from the color of the wound left behind it seems to have been pruned quite some time ago. Maybe I could try taking a stupid pill, or getting really stoned, or something, but in my present non-altered state I see nothing, nothing at all except a tree that has had a fairly large branch cut off.

So apparently the Holy Mother of God, the one and only woman who ever gave birth without actually doing it, is so hard to see that She has to make voices in your head before you’ll notice She has taken up residence in your front yard.

I do see cracks in this tree wound, does that mean that Jesus’ Mom finally broke her Holy Hymen?

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Other Marian Hallucinations:

  1. Our Lady of the Gnarly Tree Trunk
  2. Our Lady of Obviously Just Tree Bark
  3. Our Lady of Just Another Ordinary Tree
  4. Our Lady of the Tree That Looks Just Like a Tree
  5. Our Lady of Yet Another Boring Vagina Shaped Tree Wound

6 comments.

Catholic Girl

Comment on February 28th, 2007.

There are non who are so blind as those who will not see. Do not judge, lest you be judged.
Seek and you shall find.
Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

admin

Comment on February 28th, 2007.

Oooh, platitudes! How about “The only good religion is a dead religion.”

Melissa

Comment on March 7th, 2007.

All I see is an alien. All Hail Xenu!!

Ungodly

Comment on March 7th, 2007.

I’m very glad to see that you are faithful enough to recognize the bad guy from an alternate galaxy. Praise Him! I guess this proves that John Revolta was right all along.

Mike

Comment on March 15th, 2010.

Catholic girl. Read and apply your own comments.

Cousin Ricky

Comment on July 11th, 2012.

It’s too late for the drive-by girl to see, but here goes, anyway.

> There are non who are so blind as those who will not see.

Having been raised Catholic, I’m attuned to Catholic style pareidoliata. Still, I cannot make myself see anything other than a knot. Ms Filipertis should try pruning a different branch.

> Do not judge, lest you be judged.

See verse 6, same chapter.

> Seek and you shall find.

And God knows where to find me, right? He must not be looking very hard.

> Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

Fine. I haven’t stoned anyone lately.

> Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Not a bad-looking knot, is it?

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