Our Lady of the Gnarly Tree Trunk

Posted on February 27th, 2007 by Ungodly.
Categories: Old Sightings.

Also in the year 2003, a year already made famous by a war based on a pack of lies, a lady who was admittedly afflicted with religious beliefs spotted a gnarly tree trunk in an area where some trees had been recently cut down in Passaic, New Jersey.

In order to boost up the hype in this incident, the press joined in the fray by repeating ad nauseum that the gnarly tree trunk from heaven was amidst a group of trees that had been "mysteriously cut down". Sometimes people use chainsaws to cut down trees, is a chainsaw mysterious? Others suggested there was no possible reason why the trees were cut down, concluding from this baseless claim that therefore God himself had cleared the trees because he wanted to show off his Mommy's vagina. Certainly nobody on the East Coast of the USA has ever cut down a tree for firewood, so yeah, that proves it was an Act Of God!

Is it just me, or do all of these miraculous apparitions resemble the shape of a human vagina? No harm in that, of course, half the people on this planet have vaginas.

In this case the tree seems to have suffered some damage to the labia, as can be seen on our left. Could this be as the result of a virgin birth? Obviously it did not happen when the tree was having intercourse!

To this day, Catholics in the Passaic area are still out there stumping for Mary.

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Other Marian Hallucinations:

  1. Our Lady of Yet Another Boring Tree Trunk
  2. Our Lady of the Tree That Looks Just Like a Tree
  3. Our Lady of the Well Charred Sycamore Tree
  4. Our Lady of the Pruned Maple Tree
  5. Our Lady of Obviously Just Tree Bark

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