Our Lady of the Ugly Stain on a Samoan Wall

Posted on September 17th, 2009 by Ungodly.
Categories: Amazingly Dumb Sightings, New Sightings, Really Lame Sightings, Sacred Water Stains.

Our Lady of the Ugly Stain on a Samoan WallThe South Pacific nation of Samoa recently switched from driving on the right to driving on the left. Since that has absolutely nothing at all to do with non-existent virgin mothers of fictional deities, people in Samoa who are afflicted with ridiculous religious delusions therefore believe this obvious water stain on the wall of a church is an Apparition of The Holy Virgin Mary, Mother of God, with Perfectly Intact Virginal Hymen. A so-called Marian Apparition, a message from Jeebus' Mommy, saying, "Oy! watch out with that car, dodo head." Or maybe it means that her son can see you masturbating. Or it could be just mineral deposits left behind by rainwater, but that's just a guess that is consistent with the available facts.

The question is "How dumb do you have to be to see a fictional virgin in water marks on a wall?" and the answer is "Catholic."

We are used to hearing these silly stories from Mexico, Texas, and other areas with a high concentration of people exposed to Mexican culture and superstitions. This is the first case to reach our attention from a Pacific island nation. A New Zealand newspaper says

A week after Samoans prayed en masse for a safe switch to driving on the left, a vision of the Virgin Mary has appeared.

It is also true that this apparition happened about a week after I made that big pot of black bean soup and ended up farting like a racehorse all night. Could it be that the alleged virgin wants me to cut back on the beans, but she missed Palm Springs by about 7,000 miles?

What we have here is an obvious case of pareidolia. People see things they believe exist. People are especially prone to recognize human faces and figures in random patterns of swirls. This is not some mystical virgin with intact hymen and a super-baby, it's a freekin' stain on a wall. Jeebus! Like many other such sightings there is a vague resemblance to the shape of a vagina.

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