Virgin Mary (again)

Our Lady of the V for Vendetta Looking Rock

Posted on April 4th, 2009 by Ungodly.
Categories: Amazingly Dumb Sightings, eBay Virgins.

The tendency of the human mind to recognize faces in inanimate objects where they actually do not appear is called Pareidolia. We like it because it provides us ample opportunity to mock ridiculous ancient superstitions about virgin mommies with perfectly intact hymens whose impregnation provider was an invisible ghost who was not named Casper but lives in a sooper-seekrit hidden location behind the sky and is at least 6,000 years old.

When Mike Passchier of Powell River, British Columbia, Canuckistan saw this rock he saw a golden opportunity involving a potential eBay auction. Arguably Mike is either afflicted with religious delusions about virgin mothers that never once took the whole thing or he is at least familiar with these fairy tales.

My lovely husband, on the other hand, does not suffer from religious delusions at all, and he saw the lead character from the movie V for Vendetta.

If you firmly believe that no human penis ever thrust repeatedly in and out of the Sacred and Chaste Vagina Of the Virgin Mary, gaining speed, until finally with a loud cry, well you know... If you believe she got pregnant because an Invisible Ghost transported Super Sperm directly into her girly parts, well, you are perhaps likely to believe this stone is a sacred relic.

But please, try to keep your superstitions out of my civil rights.

Technorati Tags: Marian apparition, Virgin Mary, Mother of God, Pareidolia, V for Vendetta, Hymen, penis, vagina, Mike Passchier, Powell River, eBay

0 comments.

Our Lady of the Shiny Polished Stone with Intact Hymen

Posted on February 25th, 2009 by Ungodly.
Categories: Amazingly Dumb Sightings, New Sightings, Really Lame Sightings, eBay Virgins, fraudulent sightings.

A gentleman from Pocatello Idaho recently obtained a stone in Las Vegas, and upon returning home he began to polish the very attractive stone. Soon a pattern began to emerge and the gentleman imagined he was seeing the image of the 2,000 year old allegedly virgin mother of a super pal from invisible space behind the sky whose mommy, the gal in the stone, supposedly had an intact hymen that had never been pushed aside by a rock hard penis intent on penetrating her warm, fictional cavity. Some invisible sky ghost supposedly raped her, and she allegedly got pregnant with a super baby, just so humans could kill her super-powered son in order to persuade his Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy to forgive us, because, after all, we did kill his son for Him. This all makes sense, right?

Sergio Romero had never met this fictional virgin, and since she is an invention no one else had either. This did not discourage the gentleman from recognizing the image of a supposed virgin that neither he nor any other human being had ever seen.

Apparently the stone has had such a profoundly spiritual effect on Mr Romero that he intends to sell it on eBay to the gullible fool willing to waste the most cash. Truly, there is one born every minute. Imagine owning your own polished stone featuring a virginal vagina that never once took the whole thing, with a pure mineral intact hymen to prove it! Bid now, someone else may be more gullible than you are.

Technorati Tags: Virgin, marian apparition, mother of god, hail mary, holy mary mother of god, hymen, blessed virgin, pareidolia, Imaginary virgins, imaginary deities, chumps, hymen, eBay

0 comments.

Our Lady of Obviously Just a Column of Ice

Posted on February 5th, 2009 by Ungodly.
Categories: Amazingly Dumb Sightings, Edible Virgins, New Sightings, Really Lame Sightings, eBay Virgins, fraudulent sightings.

In Plymouth Michigan this week a gentleman who might seem to be afflicted with Catholic-brand religious delusions has convinced himself that he can see a 2,000 year old Virgin Mother with Perfectly Intact Hymen in a column of ice outside his mobile home. And of course if he imagines that he is recognizing a woman that he has never met and who quite likely never existed, then only his belief is required to convince a person who has already chosen to accept as true absolutely ridiculous ancient fairy tales of virgin births and infants with super powers inherited from their invisible Sky Daddy.

Lionel Gonzalez says "This is unbelievable" and on that one point we certainly do agree. We do not believe that frozen water in a Michigan mobile home park is a sign of divine intervention at the home of a highly suggestible fellow who is known to already believe completely fact-free fairy tales.

On our rating scale of Marian Apparitions, which starts at utterly preposterous and goes all the way up to laughably ridiculous, this very silly incident gets only utterly preposterous for a 1 on a scale of 1 to 5.

Looking at this columnar shaped piece of ice it only vaguely resembles the shape of a human vagina that has never once been penetrated by a stiff, manly, rock hard penis. You can't even see her completely virginal and absolutely intact hymen. If this formation ever spawned we think it would just be ice cubes, and not divine sons of a super duper sky faerie sent here to be murdered by humans so that the angry, confrontational, temper-prone Sky Faerie Daddy can forgive us humans because at least we killed his Son.

Religious delusions aside, it's just frozen water and nothing more. If Mister Gonzalez intends to sell this Holy Mary Mother of God Icicle on eBay he better get with it quickly before the weather warms up and she melts like the witch in The Wizard of Oz.

Technorati Tags: Marian Apparition, Ice, hymen, vagina, virgin, penis, Sky Faerie, Son of God, pareidolia, virgin mother, eBay, Virgin Mary, Mother of God, Michigan, Plymouth, Lionel Gonzalez, penis, fairy tales, unbelievable

2 comments.

Our Lady of the Magnetic Resonance Imaging Scan

Posted on December 6th, 2008 by Ungodly.
Categories: Amazingly Dumb Sightings, Old Sightings, Really Lame Sightings, eBay Virgins.

In the year 2002 Fort Pierce, Florida resident Pamela Latrimore was suffering from severe medical problems, despite the fact that she prayed every day to her Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy and his Perfectly Holy Mommie with Unpenetrated Intact Virgin Hymen. But of course, nothing fails like prayer.

In the course of her medical treatment Pamela had an MRI scan. Six years later, when looking at a print of the MRI scan, her step-daughter, also afflicted with religious delusions, hallucinated an apparition of The Holy Virgin of MRI Scans and Virginal Vaginas.

Since her daily prayers have completely failed to improve her medical or financial situation, this imaginary sighting of the imaginary virgin mother of an imaginary invisible sky faerie will be offered for sale on eBay. There is, after all, one born every minute.

The victim of these delusions states that she feels as though she is dying. Without seeming to notice any contradiction she also states that she believes Jeebus has been listening to her prayers. Perhaps Jeebus is listening but just doesn't care, he certainly has not cured the poor lady of any of her many medical problems or her obvious religious delusions.

Technorati Tags: vagina, hymen, intact virgin, photos, marian apparition, mother of God, Virgin Mary, pareidolia, imaginary sky faerie, jeebus, virginity, unpenetrated

3 comments.

Our Lady Of The Completely Unconvincing Oyster Shell

Posted on October 30th, 2008 by Ungodly.
Categories: Amazingly Dumb Sightings, He Sells Sea Shells, New Sightings, Really Lame Sightings, eBay Virgins.

A North Carolina man has found a fragment of an oyster shell on Wrightsville Beach which he is willing to suggest, to the suggestible, might possibly maybe look like a 2,000 year old virgin with a Perfectly Intact Holy Hymen that was never once penetrated by one of those naughty boy bits that stick out in front.

As the legend goes, God, who already existed, had sex with his own mother before he was born so she would get pregnant, but she did not have sex, but God knocked her up, then God had a son who was God. We are not sure if carpenters were rich enough in ancient Israel to own a mirror, but if Jesus' faux dad Joseph had a mirror, just imagine Jesus standing in front of that mirror and saying Hello Dad, and then Hello Son. Now you are starting to get the picture.

It seems as though only sinful women get pregnant by having intercourse with their own husband, while really holy women get pregnant only by being raped by an invisible sky fairie. Please note we are talking about an invisible sky fairie here, not a garden variety homosexual fairy. As you can see the words are spelled differently.

How about that oyster shell? Did you bid yet? We sure didn't.

Appearing on eBay as seller skatingtom7, the finder of this miraculous ex-crustacean holy relic is apparently willing to accept money for his lucky Virgin Mother Marian Apparition Miraculous Treasure Discovery.

If you have not even a trace of skeptical inclination and your critical thinking skills do not even exist, bid now!

Technorati Tags: skatingtom7, eBay, Hymen, vagina, Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina, Marian Apparition, Miraculous Sea Shell, Virgin Mary, Sea Shell, oyster Shell, miracle, pareidolia, one born every minute

1 comment.

Our Lady of the eBay Driftwood, free Bonus Jesus

Posted on March 10th, 2007 by Ungodly.
Categories: New Sightings, eBay Virgins.

When you bid on this authentic piece of actual driftwood at the famous eBay site you'll get an extra bonus hallucination. That's right, not only is the seller willing to suggest to those afflicted with Catholicism that this wood displays a wooden woman with a perfectly intact and unpenetrated hymen, for the same price he's willing to have you believe she is holding an Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy who is his own father, his own son, and the uncle of his spooky brother who is his uncle too, and his brother. And since the Bonus Jesus Imaginary Deity is the father of himself and his son whom he is, he is also his own grandfather, great-grandfather, grandson, great-grandson, and well it seems like a bit of a loop. It's like buying your own trailer park.

So bid now on this exciting offer, we all know perfectly well that nobody has ever misrepresented any item being sold on eBay, plus if buying this product does not get you into heaven, you can request a full refund of the entire purchase price. Do your own DNA testing, you won't find any sperm anywhere near this holy vagina!

Remember, web servers are standing by, so click now. It's not just any free bonus Christ, it's Jesus H Christ!

Technorati Tags: Vagina, virgin mary, hymen, bonus Jesus, free Christ, order now, eBay, pareidolia

2 comments.