Our Lady of the Greasy Stovetop

Posted on March 5th, 2007 by Ungodly.
Categories: Uncategorized.

Sadly, eBay bidding has already closed for this miraculous image of the Virgin Mary that appeared on a stovetop in Roebling, NJ as proof that virgin mother quasi-deities are more powerful than formula 409. Indeed, as this eBay auction clearly proves, in all of human history there is not a single recorded case of any home cleaning solution dissolving a virgin mother of any imaginary deity. Not even Mr Clean can take away a grease stain created by His Mother!

Our Lady of the Greasy Stovetop 1 of 2
Our Lady of the Greasy Stovetop 2 of 2
You can clearly see in these two photos that the resemblance to the known photographs of Virgin Mary is remarkable. One is a closeup of the actual miracle, while the other illustrates the area of the stovetop where the miracle took place.

Not a single person that has ever visited this miraculous stove has ever been struck by a falling airplane, clearly demonstrating the miraculous power of this apparition to protect the faithful against falling airplanes and other aerial vehicles.

Were it not for the auction having already ended, you might have been able to enter a low starting bid of only $5,000 for this miracle that includes a defective stove with at least one miraculously missing knob.

As eBay auction listings are transient in nature, we have preserved the listing page for future generations as a PDF file. While this stove has been used, the vagina of the depicted virgin remains pure and chaste, with a fully intact hymen that has only been visited by one male, and He was just leaving.

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